today was the release of the new mad exco. as well as the 'passing down' of job scope n shits.
mm so i guess this officially marks the end of my term as the hip hop head. i've told lots of stuff to the new heads. dunno how much they can take in and remember. because alot of things they still do not understand as they've not experinced it. hope they remember at least some and the rest is up to themselves.



im relieved of all my duties already. so now im 100% a student. mugging for As. i dunno why but suddenly this feeling of emptiness struck me. its different from the one after dancenight. my term has ended. i did what i could. i did what i thought was right. hope i made a difference. i did not really finish what i set out to do. but that's always the case isnt it. we all have goals ideas and dreams. and that's what drives us to continue moving forward. but whether we'll reach the goal that we envisioned. is not entirely up to us. i did my best. i tried my best to do my best. i hope it was enough. actually i've not really asked the rest how they felt when i got selected as hhh last year. maybe because i was scared of hearing their answers. maybe coz i thought it was better if i didnt know. i didnt know whether they accepted me as the one to lead them. i didnt think i was good enough. im not the best dancer amongst them and i dun think im charismatic enough for all to respect me. but i led them anyway ( or tired to do so ) because i thought i was the only one who can make the difference. you can say its my ego or whatever i dun really care. but if there were someone whom i thought could do it better than me. then i've definately not ran and just sit back and not cared. i wouldnt say the experience is what i totally enjoy or what i looked forward to. but looking back i can say that i definately do not regret my decision.




success or failure? its not up to me to decide. nor does it matter anymore. its just a small and tiny part of my life. 20 or 30 years down the road i may not even remember i walked this path before. but this is the path that i've chosen for myself. that i made sacrifices to keep myself on this path.




i've got no idea why the hell im writing this. maybe coz im really bored after cutting my hair and coming home so early and do not want to start mugging again. doesnt matter.





still remember exactly 1 year ago when i was anxiously waiting for ck's sms regarding the exco results. and feeling so confused when i first received it coz i couldnt understand what he meant. and finally jumping up and down when i deciphered it and rushed to my dad to tell him the result. now everything just seems so distant and insignificant.